Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
