im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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