Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
