Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
