i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
