just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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