All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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