so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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