either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
