My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
