Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
