btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
