I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
In America we eat man semen.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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