is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
