It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
