Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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