I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
