Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He passed out mid-signature
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
