all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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