did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
