better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
