I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
