I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
