I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
