Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
