If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
