I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
