how can u be prego again
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
