Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
