All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize