We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
