I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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