I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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