hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
