first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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