You just made me feel so damn special
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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