Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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