Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
