Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
