My Higher Power is John Stamos
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
