problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
