areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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