Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The Olympian is in my bed
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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