He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
