Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
