what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
