Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
