Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
