Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
