Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize