I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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