I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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