I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize