he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
