he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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