she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize