PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize