Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
being pregnant is like rehab
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize