Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
