your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
